Hey everyone... you know, there were over one-hundred visits to this, my weblog, in the last week, which is quite surprising since I only did this thing to make myself
giggle like a schoolgirl with a new
Rainbow Brite toy... turns out that other people think that what I write is funny as well.
Out of sheer curiosity, I put my Blog title into
Google the other day only to find out that my
"I Dated a Teenage Lesbian" story was mentioned on a
Hardcore Lesbian Porn site... not exactly what most people would refer to as
"Porn", unless you're a 18th Century
Calvinist or
Tipper Gore.
All of the stuff that I have posted on this Blog are either
true stories that
have happened to me, or personal rantings on things that
really piss me off. For instance, the
"Have You Ever Wondered" series is an on-going and apparently really funny (
or really scary) collection of musings by someone who is sick of seeing people doing the same stupid shit
all of the time.
Once, I went to an Open Mic in Lancaster, CA and I was stuck behind this idiot in an SUV who was not only not paying attention to what
the Speed Limit was, they were
all over the road. I waited in my car to get a
good look at the person that got out of the vehicle... turns out that the person that I saw was a friend of a friend that did
poetry at the Open Mic's and later on I talked about people
like her who drove like
idiots during my set. She laughed
hysterically at the improvised bit that I did, until I pointed out to everyone in the audience that that the only reason I mentioned these people was because I was
stuck behind her dumb ass for seven minutes, trying to get into the parking lot of the bar where the Open Mic was being held.
I'm not an overall out-spoken person, I just have my moments where I get to say what everyone else
wants to... and in the case of
this Blog, I've now told hundreds of people what I think, even if a good chunk of the visitors to this site are
friends of mine, such as
Mark, Marlon (Mojo, HAHA), Jeff, Brian, Geoff, Charles, Big C, Chappy, Eryc and my girlfriend Kristi... it still remains a forum where
anyone can say what they want in response to what I write. I think that I encourage others to think about a subject differently
because I make them laugh. How many times have you had trouble remembering a wise thing that a
Grandparent said, but you can pull a line from George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Dom Irrera or Dane Cook off of the top of your head? You know why that is? Because it's easier to remember something that you enjoy more than something that you vaguely paid attention to
over 21 years ago.
A friend of mine mentioned that I have a
Political Blog moreso than a
Comic Blog, but then again, he has ADHD and has trouble remembering half of the stories that he's already told me. That doesn't mean that he's not my friend because I
disagree with him on the definition of my Blog... that just makes him
wrong. Sure, I take stabs at the President, the Republican Party and the whole Bush Administration... but does that make this Blog
Political? Not really... that just makes me
mildly observant. If I was writing a
Political Blog, I'd write topical shit about every nuance of the
American Political System, and not only
could I do that... it would be about as fun as getting the crap kicked out of you by a gang of midgets wearing
S&M Bondage Gear. And while that may be fun to
some people, it's not fun for
most people... at least not the people that
I know.
My Sept-Dad Bob likes to tell me that my sense of humor is a
defense mechanism, and for the most part,
he's correct. I filter everything that I experience through my sense of humor; coping with what life hurls at me through a comedic view is
much easier than taking it all
seriously. People that deal with life that way tend to be the ones that either end up on the roof of the Clocktower picking off their classmates with a
Sniper Rifle or joining the
Repulican Party... see? Political
and Comical! Throw all of that angst into a mind that contains more
useless shit than a Trailer Park Garage Sale, stir for
ten minutes until all of
the lumps are gone and you get:
Todd's sense of humor!Sure, I have things that I could write that would be more
personal, such as the time that I got drunk with my Uncle and went to bed, but later woke up and almost
peed on his new TV because I was still drunk and was technically sleep-walking, and thought that I was actually
in the bathroom at the time, but that would bring the mood in the room down,
now wouldn't it? My friend
Mojo invited me to go to the Open Mics that they have at the Queen Mary, and I'm curious, does anyone else think that I should go check it out? It may end up that Mojo gets back in the Comedy game, and think about it... how funny would it be to have
two guys from Lancaster doing Stand-Up in Long Beach? We lived in the desert (y'know,
all beach and
no water) and we're telling jokes on the Queen Mary (y'know, all
water and no
beach)!
And to wrap this up, I have 160 pages of written material (some of which
is on this Blog, most of which
isn't) and I was thinking about getting it published... what does everyone think about that? Would any of you buy the crap that I write?
Let me know!Have a great New Years, everyone! And be sure not to drink and drive... the cops will be all over you like the crabs on a 2-Dollar Prostitute at the wharf.
