"I Promised Myself I Wouldn't Cry..."
Hey everyone... you know, there were over one-hundred visits to this, my weblog, in the last week, which is quite surprising since I only did this thing to make myself giggle like a schoolgirl with a new Rainbow Brite toy... turns out that other people think that what I write is funny as well.
Out of sheer curiosity, I put my Blog title into Google the other day only to find out that my "I Dated a Teenage Lesbian" story was mentioned on a Hardcore Lesbian Porn site... not exactly what most people would refer to as "Porn", unless you're a 18th Century Calvinist or Tipper Gore.
All of the stuff that I have posted on this Blog are either true stories that have happened to me, or personal rantings on things that really piss me off. For instance, the "Have You Ever Wondered" series is an on-going and apparently really funny (or really scary) collection of musings by someone who is sick of seeing people doing the same stupid shit all of the time.
Once, I went to an Open Mic in Lancaster, CA and I was stuck behind this idiot in an SUV who was not only not paying attention to what the Speed Limit was, they were all over the road. I waited in my car to get a good look at the person that got out of the vehicle... turns out that the person that I saw was a friend of a friend that did poetry at the Open Mic's and later on I talked about people like her who drove like idiots during my set. She laughed hysterically at the improvised bit that I did, until I pointed out to everyone in the audience that that the only reason I mentioned these people was because I was stuck behind her dumb ass for seven minutes, trying to get into the parking lot of the bar where the Open Mic was being held.
I'm not an overall out-spoken person, I just have my moments where I get to say what everyone else wants to... and in the case of this Blog, I've now told hundreds of people what I think, even if a good chunk of the visitors to this site are friends of mine, such as Mark, Marlon (Mojo, HAHA), Jeff, Brian, Geoff, Charles, Big C, Chappy, Eryc and my girlfriend Kristi... it still remains a forum where anyone can say what they want in response to what I write. I think that I encourage others to think about a subject differently because I make them laugh. How many times have you had trouble remembering a wise thing that a Grandparent said, but you can pull a line from George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Dom Irrera or Dane Cook off of the top of your head? You know why that is? Because it's easier to remember something that you enjoy more than something that you vaguely paid attention to over 21 years ago.
A friend of mine mentioned that I have a Political Blog moreso than a Comic Blog, but then again, he has ADHD and has trouble remembering half of the stories that he's already told me. That doesn't mean that he's not my friend because I disagree with him on the definition of my Blog... that just makes him wrong. Sure, I take stabs at the President, the Republican Party and the whole Bush Administration... but does that make this Blog Political? Not really... that just makes me mildly observant. If I was writing a Political Blog, I'd write topical shit about every nuance of the American Political System, and not only could I do that... it would be about as fun as getting the crap kicked out of you by a gang of midgets wearing S&M Bondage Gear. And while that may be fun to some people, it's not fun for most people... at least not the people that I know.
My Sept-Dad Bob likes to tell me that my sense of humor is a defense mechanism, and for the most part, he's correct. I filter everything that I experience through my sense of humor; coping with what life hurls at me through a comedic view is much easier than taking it all seriously. People that deal with life that way tend to be the ones that either end up on the roof of the Clocktower picking off their classmates with a Sniper Rifle or joining the Repulican Party... see? Political and Comical! Throw all of that angst into a mind that contains more useless shit than a Trailer Park Garage Sale, stir for ten minutes until all of the lumps are gone and you get: Todd's sense of humor!
Sure, I have things that I could write that would be more personal, such as the time that I got drunk with my Uncle and went to bed, but later woke up and almost peed on his new TV because I was still drunk and was technically sleep-walking, and thought that I was actually in the bathroom at the time, but that would bring the mood in the room down, now wouldn't it? My friend Mojo invited me to go to the Open Mics that they have at the Queen Mary, and I'm curious, does anyone else think that I should go check it out? It may end up that Mojo gets back in the Comedy game, and think about it... how funny would it be to have two guys from Lancaster doing Stand-Up in Long Beach? We lived in the desert (y'know, all beach and no water) and we're telling jokes on the Queen Mary (y'know, all water and no beach)!
And to wrap this up, I have 160 pages of written material (some of which is on this Blog, most of which isn't) and I was thinking about getting it published... what does everyone think about that? Would any of you buy the crap that I write? Let me know!
Have a great New Years, everyone! And be sure not to drink and drive... the cops will be all over you like the crabs on a 2-Dollar Prostitute at the wharf.
Out of sheer curiosity, I put my Blog title into Google the other day only to find out that my "I Dated a Teenage Lesbian" story was mentioned on a Hardcore Lesbian Porn site... not exactly what most people would refer to as "Porn", unless you're a 18th Century Calvinist or Tipper Gore.
All of the stuff that I have posted on this Blog are either true stories that have happened to me, or personal rantings on things that really piss me off. For instance, the "Have You Ever Wondered" series is an on-going and apparently really funny (or really scary) collection of musings by someone who is sick of seeing people doing the same stupid shit all of the time.
Once, I went to an Open Mic in Lancaster, CA and I was stuck behind this idiot in an SUV who was not only not paying attention to what the Speed Limit was, they were all over the road. I waited in my car to get a good look at the person that got out of the vehicle... turns out that the person that I saw was a friend of a friend that did poetry at the Open Mic's and later on I talked about people like her who drove like idiots during my set. She laughed hysterically at the improvised bit that I did, until I pointed out to everyone in the audience that that the only reason I mentioned these people was because I was stuck behind her dumb ass for seven minutes, trying to get into the parking lot of the bar where the Open Mic was being held.
I'm not an overall out-spoken person, I just have my moments where I get to say what everyone else wants to... and in the case of this Blog, I've now told hundreds of people what I think, even if a good chunk of the visitors to this site are friends of mine, such as Mark, Marlon (Mojo, HAHA), Jeff, Brian, Geoff, Charles, Big C, Chappy, Eryc and my girlfriend Kristi... it still remains a forum where anyone can say what they want in response to what I write. I think that I encourage others to think about a subject differently because I make them laugh. How many times have you had trouble remembering a wise thing that a Grandparent said, but you can pull a line from George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Dom Irrera or Dane Cook off of the top of your head? You know why that is? Because it's easier to remember something that you enjoy more than something that you vaguely paid attention to over 21 years ago.
A friend of mine mentioned that I have a Political Blog moreso than a Comic Blog, but then again, he has ADHD and has trouble remembering half of the stories that he's already told me. That doesn't mean that he's not my friend because I disagree with him on the definition of my Blog... that just makes him wrong. Sure, I take stabs at the President, the Republican Party and the whole Bush Administration... but does that make this Blog Political? Not really... that just makes me mildly observant. If I was writing a Political Blog, I'd write topical shit about every nuance of the American Political System, and not only could I do that... it would be about as fun as getting the crap kicked out of you by a gang of midgets wearing S&M Bondage Gear. And while that may be fun to some people, it's not fun for most people... at least not the people that I know.
My Sept-Dad Bob likes to tell me that my sense of humor is a defense mechanism, and for the most part, he's correct. I filter everything that I experience through my sense of humor; coping with what life hurls at me through a comedic view is much easier than taking it all seriously. People that deal with life that way tend to be the ones that either end up on the roof of the Clocktower picking off their classmates with a Sniper Rifle or joining the Repulican Party... see? Political and Comical! Throw all of that angst into a mind that contains more useless shit than a Trailer Park Garage Sale, stir for ten minutes until all of the lumps are gone and you get: Todd's sense of humor!
Sure, I have things that I could write that would be more personal, such as the time that I got drunk with my Uncle and went to bed, but later woke up and almost peed on his new TV because I was still drunk and was technically sleep-walking, and thought that I was actually in the bathroom at the time, but that would bring the mood in the room down, now wouldn't it? My friend Mojo invited me to go to the Open Mics that they have at the Queen Mary, and I'm curious, does anyone else think that I should go check it out? It may end up that Mojo gets back in the Comedy game, and think about it... how funny would it be to have two guys from Lancaster doing Stand-Up in Long Beach? We lived in the desert (y'know, all beach and no water) and we're telling jokes on the Queen Mary (y'know, all water and no beach)!
And to wrap this up, I have 160 pages of written material (some of which is on this Blog, most of which isn't) and I was thinking about getting it published... what does everyone think about that? Would any of you buy the crap that I write? Let me know!
Have a great New Years, everyone! And be sure not to drink and drive... the cops will be all over you like the crabs on a 2-Dollar Prostitute at the wharf.
posted by Todd Tobin at 8:47 AM
2 Comments:
You should totally do the Open Mic night at Queen Mary's. I'm not sure what country she rules, but I know she'd appreciate your comedy. Let us know when. And yes, publish your book!
As usual, my Aeronautical Engineer buddy Eryc is the first one to post... thanks, man. I have 1 vote to go back out on stage, do I have another? Have a great vacation, Eryc.
Todd
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