"Not Much, Really..."

It just struck me the other day: I'm not much of a Man.

And here's why: I don't dig Sports, going out to Clubs and hitting on drunk chicks or watching episodes of Jackass, Viva La Bam, Wildboyz or Raising the Roof. I don't think seeing a mouth-breather jumping off a roof and hurting themself is funny, I don't smack other guy's on the ass during a game of basketball or think that sleeping with a woman who's cheating on her boyfriend/husband is cool at all.

So it lead me to me thinking, "What is a 'Man', exactly?"

Is it manly to think that the world is two-dimensional and that people should only think like you? Is it emblematic of some sort of masculine ideal to only serve yourself; spending your whole life only wanting to further yourself?

If that's so, that might be why I loath the striving, selfish "Business People" of this world; wandering through their hives/buildings, thinking that they're all unique while wearing the same suits and haircuts, allowing businesses like Enron to ruin hard-working people's lives because of the greedy, grasping avarice that they so long ago succumbed to. Man or Woman, I don't care for any human that immediately discounts the existance of another simply because they make less money, are slightly less-educated, or speak a different language.

It's kind of funny that all these self-centered worker drones with an over-blown sense of accomplishment rely on the same people that they tell racist jokes about in their cubicles (after looking left and right first, of course); buying a house that's way too big, and being too lazy to mow their own lawns or clean their own house. So they hire someone who works harder than them, and then quitely complain to their friends about how they hate "Illegal's" and how they're stinking up the country, all while enjoying a cigar on the freshly cut lawn and Pine-Sol smell in their home that was provided to them by the same people they castigate.

Isn't it ironic that life is the exact opposite of High School?

All the guys that got the best looking girls in school? They haven't done shit with their lives; loafing through life, never leaving the town they grew up in, hanging out with the same Alpha-Male asswipes they hung out with in School all while never quite kicking the habit of wearing that stupid Letterman Jacket that shows that they played Football for three years. They pine for the glory days of '91 when they got to the CIF Championship; when they had the hope of a bright future, and all the chicks wanted them.

Of course, all that could have been fixed if they actually did their homework and weren't given a pass through school because they mastered the "necessary" skills of running and catching a ball at the same damn time. Or if they just used condoms so they didn't have to drop out of college to support their kids, that would've helped them get where they wanted to go, right?

How about John? You know, the geeky kid that everyone made fun of because of his zits, braces, coke-bottle glasses and wiry frame that was so into computers in High School?

Well, John got LASIK surgery, cleaned up his zits, ditched the braces and hit the gym during college... guess what he's doing now? He runs a consulting firm for corporate data systems and was a millionaire by the age of 25. And do you know why? Because he worked hard and stayed true to himself, never becoming bitter about how shitty everyone treated him and do you know why? He didn't care what you thought of him. He was the exact opposite of the hulking gym-monkeys that played sports in High School; small, intelligent, funny, average-looking and honest... and all his good traits are exactly the same as they were back then, only now he's rich.

Funny how life turns things around every once and a while, isn't it?