"A Journey to Dissenter of the Earth"
There are lots of people that have asked me a wide variety of questions regarding my opinion of the world in general and people in specific, in hopes that I’ll say something that’ll make them laugh, since my view of things are a little different than what most people would consider “Normal”. Most of the time, I’ll end up saying something funny, but I try to say what I really think first, and then give them the funny afterwards. I like to think of myself as a person that can see through bullshit pretty easily, and I’d also like to think that I can relay what I see to others in a fairly relatable way; so that they can understand why I think and see things the way that I do. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail in this goal, but at least I make the effort to speak my mind in the first place, since, in my mind at least, most people don’t do that enough in this world.
Most People are genial and gregarious in public and at work, but the moment that they’re sitting in their E-Z-Boy Recliners, with cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon in one hand and their channel flickers in the other, watching the evening news, their true, immutable, monolithic inner-selves emerge, and they remember that they actually have a pair of big brass ones after all; hurling invectives at the talking head shows on the TV for glamorizing idiots like Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise like a Spider Monkey in the Bronx Zoo throws feces at children that talk trash. Ah, anger… the one thing that we all have in us, and often in our desperate need to expunge these negative feelings we do things to ourselves and others that do nothing but make it worse, like drinking to the point of passing out or beating the one we love due to our sense of loss and hopelessness.
In other words, we all compromise who we really are for the sake of money, comfort, an expense account and public notoriety without even being consciously aware of it, and in many cases, we never will be. Take an Executive in a big corporation, for example… they have no life outside of their jobs, do they? Do you know why that is? Because they have been socialized and voluntarily conformed since childhood into a self-serving me-machine; devoid of conscience, morality or any true bindings in the form of human contact other than their empty sexual experiences with anonymous men and women that they pick up solely on the merit of what car they drive, and the brand name on their custom-tailored suits.
We see these people everyday, and we find ourselves looking down a tunnel that only has two directions: The empty life of a soulless corporate worker ant or the empty life of a rich, soulless corporate worker ant.
But, there is always a third option; one that you typically discount as a waste of time to have even thought about in the first place: Doing what you love for a living.
What?! Am I nuts?! No, gentle reader… Todd is not completely off his nut.
Personally, I’ve been attending the local Junior College in order to attain my personal goal as far as my getting my “Dream Job”. And that job, of course, is “Exotic Male Dancer”, with a minor in “Crime Fighter/ Super Hero”. Now, I could always combine these two fields into an original or “Unique” Major, but I don’t think that I’ll be able to get much work as an “Exotic Male Super-Dancer”, or a “Crime-Fighting Stripper”… but the dream lives on inside of me. I know that many of you are thinking, “Hey, why didn’t you pick a more realistic Major? There are plenty of jobs out there for Underwater Basket-Weaving and Proctology, why not take classes in those scientific disciplines?”
I would, but for some reason, the worlds of Underwater Colonoscopies or Colo-Rectal Weavings aren’t all that appetizing to me... sorry. Besides, the Exotic Dancing training will be a better tool of distraction and confusion in the middle of a heated gun-fight than the business end of a Sygmoidoscope any day.
Well, I gotta go. Tonight I start a class in how to see through the urine-stained walls of drive bars off of I-95 and Advanced Technique for the Stripper Pole (I gotta remember to Oil up this time, last time I got a rash)!
And remember, it’s never too late to go for your dreams!
Most People are genial and gregarious in public and at work, but the moment that they’re sitting in their E-Z-Boy Recliners, with cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon in one hand and their channel flickers in the other, watching the evening news, their true, immutable, monolithic inner-selves emerge, and they remember that they actually have a pair of big brass ones after all; hurling invectives at the talking head shows on the TV for glamorizing idiots like Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise like a Spider Monkey in the Bronx Zoo throws feces at children that talk trash. Ah, anger… the one thing that we all have in us, and often in our desperate need to expunge these negative feelings we do things to ourselves and others that do nothing but make it worse, like drinking to the point of passing out or beating the one we love due to our sense of loss and hopelessness.
In other words, we all compromise who we really are for the sake of money, comfort, an expense account and public notoriety without even being consciously aware of it, and in many cases, we never will be. Take an Executive in a big corporation, for example… they have no life outside of their jobs, do they? Do you know why that is? Because they have been socialized and voluntarily conformed since childhood into a self-serving me-machine; devoid of conscience, morality or any true bindings in the form of human contact other than their empty sexual experiences with anonymous men and women that they pick up solely on the merit of what car they drive, and the brand name on their custom-tailored suits.
We see these people everyday, and we find ourselves looking down a tunnel that only has two directions: The empty life of a soulless corporate worker ant or the empty life of a rich, soulless corporate worker ant.
But, there is always a third option; one that you typically discount as a waste of time to have even thought about in the first place: Doing what you love for a living.
What?! Am I nuts?! No, gentle reader… Todd is not completely off his nut.
Personally, I’ve been attending the local Junior College in order to attain my personal goal as far as my getting my “Dream Job”. And that job, of course, is “Exotic Male Dancer”, with a minor in “Crime Fighter/ Super Hero”. Now, I could always combine these two fields into an original or “Unique” Major, but I don’t think that I’ll be able to get much work as an “Exotic Male Super-Dancer”, or a “Crime-Fighting Stripper”… but the dream lives on inside of me. I know that many of you are thinking, “Hey, why didn’t you pick a more realistic Major? There are plenty of jobs out there for Underwater Basket-Weaving and Proctology, why not take classes in those scientific disciplines?”
I would, but for some reason, the worlds of Underwater Colonoscopies or Colo-Rectal Weavings aren’t all that appetizing to me... sorry. Besides, the Exotic Dancing training will be a better tool of distraction and confusion in the middle of a heated gun-fight than the business end of a Sygmoidoscope any day.
Well, I gotta go. Tonight I start a class in how to see through the urine-stained walls of drive bars off of I-95 and Advanced Technique for the Stripper Pole (I gotta remember to Oil up this time, last time I got a rash)!
And remember, it’s never too late to go for your dreams!
posted by Todd Tobin at 8:33 AM
3 Comments:
Major Clubs? No... but I'll hopefully be working with Mo in L.A. on writing our Material for bits on-stage, since he thinks that his writing's a little rusty.
The funny thing is that my stuff is considered "Alternative", since I talk about the world at large and my personal life versus just doing either Observational, Character or Improv styles of Stand-Up. I personally hate formulaic or mainstream forms of entertainment, since they don't inspire any kind of creative thought... and I especially hate comformist comedy; it's too easy to do the simple, "Premise, Set-up and Punchline" way of doing things... it's more fun to mix it up.
I'd like to do a big club down in L.A., but I live in Lancaster, which is 60 miles North of L.A., and the gas cost and wear-and-tear on my car would cost me out the nose. So I'm working on getting down to L.A. to check out the Open Mic scene in the near future... it's one of my goals for the year, to get on-stage in L.A. and not bomb.
After doing Open Mics, though... that shouldn't be all that tough. I mean, when you do those things, if you can make someone laugh despite their utter indifference, that's a big deal.
When I make an appearance, though, I'll let everyone know on my Blog and in person, since I'll be on the verge of pissing my pants from the excitement. As usual, thaks for reading my stuff, Laura... you're the best.
Todd
Maybe create a scantily clad character in City of Heroes, and live vicariously through him?
But what would be your superpower? Since you couldn't wear a utility belt perhaps you could fashion a cod peice of death.
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