"Racism is like a pair of Plaid Bellbottoms..."
... it's out-dated.
That's right, I said it... Racists are out-dated morons. No, I take that back, they're not morons, imbeciles, cretins, numb-skulls, half-wits, fuck-ups or retards... since that would be an insult to those that actually are one of these descriptive pejoratives. Racism, and those that practice it, need a new insult that applies to them, don't they? I vote for "Dumb-as-dog-shit-itude" to be our new word for someone's who's Racist... think about it. It's a word that reflects what the person is: Dumb as Dog Shit, and says what they have: An attitude problem.
Some dude comes up and says something intellect-sapping, like, "You know, I'm tired of all these goddamn Camel-Jockey Arabs comin' over here and stealin' our jobs!"
And then you just say, "You know what I'm tired of? Your Dumbasdogshititude!" And pull that special weapon (in my case, a cue-ball in a white tube sock) out of your backpack and crack that person on the right hip with it.
Now, I know that many people were thinking, "Hey Todd, why not just hit them in the face?" The answer to that is simple, I watch a lot of Law & Order and I'm pretty sure that if you hit them in the head that's Attempted Murder with a Deadly Weapon, as opposed to hitting them below the waist, which is Assault... and there's no point spending 10 to 20 in the Bootyhouse over an idiot. Plus, if you meet somone like this, it helps to give them a "Reminder" as to why their hip hurts every day as they get out of bed.
Think about it:
One day you wake up, sit up on the edge of your bed, stand up to go to the bathroom and--"Owww!! Shit!!! What the hell?! Why does my hip... oh, that's right, I'm a Fucking Idiot Racist... I almost forgot. I can't believe that guy got off on 'Justifiable Assault'... I was only exercising my First Amendment Rights." True, you can say whatever you want, but sometimes there are consequences to what you say, when what you say displays your Dumbasdogshititude for everyone to hear... like a cue-ball in a sock crushing your hip.
Most of the people that know me that I can't stand Racists for the simple reason that my family is very diverse, and that kind of up-bringing led me to think of the color of someone's skin or the accent to their speech as mere wrapping over the cool gift that person is on the inside.
And there is one final thing that I'd like to mention before I go, and that last thing is: Racists aren't just one color... they're every color.
My Step-Brother Seth mentioned one time that he was up for Jury Duty, and the Prosecutor asked the potential jurors if any of them had been a victim of a "Hate Crime", and Seth raised his hand. Seth is White, just like I am, and like many White kids, he's been attacked for just being White... for us, that's nothing new. But apparently the prosecutor has a very narrow view of what constitutes as a "Hate Crime", and I'm willing to bet that, to him, a "Hate Crime" can only involve someone that has either a certain amount of Melanin in their skin or a certain sexual orientation. Many people still think that White kids can't be vicitms of a "Hate Crime" unless they're Gay.
This is a commonly held fallacy that needs to be addressed in a nation that many still consider "The Great Melting Pot". Racism comes from every person of every nation and every religious belief... and only by understanding that if you took away our languages, religious beliefs and peeled the skin off of our bodies, we're exactly the same. So it's about time people, to move on to a more elevated form of thought that forces you to think of every person as an individual rather than a member of a vague group that only helps to reinforce ignorant stereotypes for those that choose to use those same stereotypes to hurt other people due to their own self-hate and ignorance.
Of course, none of all that happy-talk and "Lets live in peace and harmony, brother!" stuff applies to any actual Racists, though... those assholes and their Dumbasdogshititude can go dig a ditch as far as I'm concerned.
Peace and Hairgrease, everyone!
That's right, I said it... Racists are out-dated morons. No, I take that back, they're not morons, imbeciles, cretins, numb-skulls, half-wits, fuck-ups or retards... since that would be an insult to those that actually are one of these descriptive pejoratives. Racism, and those that practice it, need a new insult that applies to them, don't they? I vote for "Dumb-as-dog-shit-itude" to be our new word for someone's who's Racist... think about it. It's a word that reflects what the person is: Dumb as Dog Shit, and says what they have: An attitude problem.
Some dude comes up and says something intellect-sapping, like, "You know, I'm tired of all these goddamn Camel-Jockey Arabs comin' over here and stealin' our jobs!"
And then you just say, "You know what I'm tired of? Your Dumbasdogshititude!" And pull that special weapon (in my case, a cue-ball in a white tube sock) out of your backpack and crack that person on the right hip with it.
Now, I know that many people were thinking, "Hey Todd, why not just hit them in the face?" The answer to that is simple, I watch a lot of Law & Order and I'm pretty sure that if you hit them in the head that's Attempted Murder with a Deadly Weapon, as opposed to hitting them below the waist, which is Assault... and there's no point spending 10 to 20 in the Bootyhouse over an idiot. Plus, if you meet somone like this, it helps to give them a "Reminder" as to why their hip hurts every day as they get out of bed.
Think about it:
One day you wake up, sit up on the edge of your bed, stand up to go to the bathroom and--"Owww!! Shit!!! What the hell?! Why does my hip... oh, that's right, I'm a Fucking Idiot Racist... I almost forgot. I can't believe that guy got off on 'Justifiable Assault'... I was only exercising my First Amendment Rights." True, you can say whatever you want, but sometimes there are consequences to what you say, when what you say displays your Dumbasdogshititude for everyone to hear... like a cue-ball in a sock crushing your hip.
Most of the people that know me that I can't stand Racists for the simple reason that my family is very diverse, and that kind of up-bringing led me to think of the color of someone's skin or the accent to their speech as mere wrapping over the cool gift that person is on the inside.
And there is one final thing that I'd like to mention before I go, and that last thing is: Racists aren't just one color... they're every color.
My Step-Brother Seth mentioned one time that he was up for Jury Duty, and the Prosecutor asked the potential jurors if any of them had been a victim of a "Hate Crime", and Seth raised his hand. Seth is White, just like I am, and like many White kids, he's been attacked for just being White... for us, that's nothing new. But apparently the prosecutor has a very narrow view of what constitutes as a "Hate Crime", and I'm willing to bet that, to him, a "Hate Crime" can only involve someone that has either a certain amount of Melanin in their skin or a certain sexual orientation. Many people still think that White kids can't be vicitms of a "Hate Crime" unless they're Gay.
This is a commonly held fallacy that needs to be addressed in a nation that many still consider "The Great Melting Pot". Racism comes from every person of every nation and every religious belief... and only by understanding that if you took away our languages, religious beliefs and peeled the skin off of our bodies, we're exactly the same. So it's about time people, to move on to a more elevated form of thought that forces you to think of every person as an individual rather than a member of a vague group that only helps to reinforce ignorant stereotypes for those that choose to use those same stereotypes to hurt other people due to their own self-hate and ignorance.
Of course, none of all that happy-talk and "Lets live in peace and harmony, brother!" stuff applies to any actual Racists, though... those assholes and their Dumbasdogshititude can go dig a ditch as far as I'm concerned.
Peace and Hairgrease, everyone!
posted by Todd Tobin at 7:42 AM
6 Comments:
Yes, it yould be close to the true definition of a "Hate" Crime, since I dislike racists... which is often times the exact opposite of why most people that perpetrate "Hate Crimes" commit them in the first place.
They do it because they're afraid. Of Blacks, Asians, Latinos and Gays, and often for no reason. I don't think that you can be prejudiced in your thinking against someone who is always prejudiced in their thinking about everyone around them.
Plus, having a biased opinion towards someone whose ignorance is something you've already suffered through many times before isn't really prejudiced... it's common sense.
I mean, how many Skinheads have Youth Centers and Homeless Shelters in own their towns that they sponsor? They give nothing to their community, and enjoy nothing more than taking... so lets see if they can take a cue-ball.
Hehehee....
Good one, Laura.
Okay I read the first paragraph and had to post NOW!
You are hilarious Todd! "Dumbasdogshititude?" LOL! You kill me with come of the crap you think up!
I am at work and I made it to paragraph 3...I'm in tears!
Todd you are my hero. I'm buying a quality pair of socks tonight and swiping a cue ball from the local pool hall during lunch! LOL!
I'd use the other billiard balls, so I can call my shots. "Eight ball, side pocket!"
Hehehehee
Todd
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