"An Ode to Ann..."
I write this as a breathless commentary on that lovely maiden of the Right Wing: Ann Coulter.
Never mind that she has an Adam's Apple that makes me look like a 10-year-old Catholic school girl.
Never mind that she looks almost identical to Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs with his dick tucked between his legs and uttering "I'd fuck me..." while dancing.
Never mind that she slightly resembles Skeletor from the Masters of the Universe in drag.
Also forget that she kind of looks like a Post-Op Tranny... I bet her Birth Certificate says "Andrew Coulter", personally.
"It puts the Lotion in the basket!!!"
Sorry...
... no, I'm not sorry.
Look past her man-ish facade into the heart of this gentle soul that often refers to Bill Clinton as a Rapist (although, he's never been convicted) and see her for who she really is: a soulless, shrieking harpy, riddled with self-loathing, fawning over anyone that doesn't think that she's insane all while deeply thinking about whether it was a good idea to get that Penectomy after all.
Allow her to permeate your being with her utter lack of avuncular wit and inability to write a single piece of literature with a proper foot-or-end-note and her inability to stop plagarizing established works despite her education and Law degree from Cornell University.
Peel back the layers of nonsensical gibberish, muttering, "Liberals are Godless", "Jihad Monkeys" and that the Jersey widows of September 11th, 2001 "...enjoyed their husbands death(s)".
Now imagine if you said all these hateful, ignorant things and imagine where you'd be right now...
...that's right, you'd be in an Insane Asylum, getting dosed by complete strangers.
Man, being more wealthy than you deserve must be great, huh?
Never mind that she has an Adam's Apple that makes me look like a 10-year-old Catholic school girl.
Never mind that she looks almost identical to Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs with his dick tucked between his legs and uttering "I'd fuck me..." while dancing.
Never mind that she slightly resembles Skeletor from the Masters of the Universe in drag.
Also forget that she kind of looks like a Post-Op Tranny... I bet her Birth Certificate says "Andrew Coulter", personally.
"It puts the Lotion in the basket!!!"
Sorry...
... no, I'm not sorry.
Look past her man-ish facade into the heart of this gentle soul that often refers to Bill Clinton as a Rapist (although, he's never been convicted) and see her for who she really is: a soulless, shrieking harpy, riddled with self-loathing, fawning over anyone that doesn't think that she's insane all while deeply thinking about whether it was a good idea to get that Penectomy after all.
Allow her to permeate your being with her utter lack of avuncular wit and inability to write a single piece of literature with a proper foot-or-end-note and her inability to stop plagarizing established works despite her education and Law degree from Cornell University.
Peel back the layers of nonsensical gibberish, muttering, "Liberals are Godless", "Jihad Monkeys" and that the Jersey widows of September 11th, 2001 "...enjoyed their husbands death(s)".
Now imagine if you said all these hateful, ignorant things and imagine where you'd be right now...
...that's right, you'd be in an Insane Asylum, getting dosed by complete strangers.
Man, being more wealthy than you deserve must be great, huh?
posted by Todd Tobin at 2:09 PM
6 Comments:
I hate it when you hold back, I never know your thoughts on a subject..... She is pretty psychotic; she has to know, though.
Really, I don't think it's possible that this woman takes herself seriously (although maybe she does). More likely is that she has found that being a cheerleader for the extreme right involves a big paycheck. I dig what you say about that Adam's Apple. I would find perverse joy if she one day revealed herself to be a man, only after years of selling "her" hate speech for top dollar to the bible thumpers who buy into her act. At least that is how I would end the novel :)
I am glad to see you back! I missed reading something that actually made me think...
Like I said before I don't know much about US Politics... and I like to read your thoughts on it...
Anyways... I will check back more often now knowing you are back...
Take Care Hon.
Eryc, you light up my life... but not in that creepy, Jesus way. Good luck with the house stuff.
GW, the man with the plan always has two cents available. Thanks for checking in and leaving a comment... if it were a novelization of Ann's life, I would had her whip it out at a Press Conference.
And finally, our lovely lass from the frozen wastes of Canada: Thanks for stopping by. I figured you would at one point, and you never let me down.
Oh hon it is not frozen up here far from it... it actually has gotten to 40 C here... which is.. let me go get that conversion thing...104..
We see 6 months of winter but we have a beautiful hot summer....
My pleasure Todd ~ just glad your back in action! "Whip it out at a press conference!" Yes, that's the ticket... then comes the sex scandal with "Oral" Roberts.
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