"The 1979 case of Mom V. Dad"
In order to truly understand where I come from on marriage, family and politics, you must first know what kind of family I come from.
My Dad is a retired Marine Staff Sergeant who was a Drill Instructor when I was born. He met my Mom when he was laid up on the hospital bed next to my Grandfather, who loathed him as much as one Marine can loath another Marine. My Dad didn't really get the reasons for why my Grandpa didn't like him, and he still doesn't... hell, even I don't really know why. Maybe it's because they're so similar... that's the way it works out sometimes.
My Mom fell in love with my Dad after a time, and they eventually got married and had my sister, Jennifer in 1976 and then me in 1977.
Of course, their marriage didn't last much longer after that.
My Mom eventually got tired of my Father not paying as much attention to my Mom, Jen and I as he did his motorcycles and his cars, so she left him after five years of marriage... I was two years old at the time. My Mom told me once, "Well, I gave it five years... that seems like a long enough time to change, don't you think?"
My Mom isn't a person who actively bad-mouths others, no matter how she feels about them, and the same went for my Father, so I didn't really experience the whole tug-of-war crap that a lot of kids from divorced families get to see. But frankly, those kids got lots of cool presents, and there ain't nothing wrong with presents, in my book.
When my Mom and Bob got together, that changed. I'm not sure why, but it did change.
Keep in mind that around this time, Rush Limbaugh was just rising to prominence in the early 1990's, and there were two sides to be on: Rush's or Not Rush's.
My Dad picked Rush's side and my Mom is a Liberal Feminist, so she didn't... and this is where it gets sticky. My Mom and Bob believe that as long as what you do doesn't hurt anyone, and the Constitution protects it, feel free to live your life the way that you choose. Dad, on the other hand is a Conservative, so he thinks that any behavior believed to be aberrant is wrong, and therefore he's against it.
Here's the big difference between "Liberals" and "Conservatives": Liberals are open-minded on most things, and pay attention to scientific fact versus what others "Feel". Conservatives pay more attention to "Morals" and "Feelings" than scientific fact and reason; hence, why Liberals pay attention to global warming and trying to gently nudge this country away from it's puritanical past while Conservatives focus on the immorality of getting an abortion and always saying that there's a "Liberal War being waged on (insert random Christian holiday here)".
Now, imagine being a Liberal, with a Dad that has the complete opposite views as you... do you see why it's a pain in the ass now?
A lot of my friends are Liberal, and all their parents are still married, so they don't really get how frustrating it is to be in the position that I'm in with my parents. I realized in my early 20's that I am a lot like both my parents in many ways, despite the basic lack of regular contact with my Dad since I was a kid. In 2004, I saw my Dad for the first time face-to-face in a decade, and I'm 28 now... so about a third of my life was spent away from him. Nothing wrong with that, but it can create distance between family members... even the ones that you love the most.
My Dad is a good guy, even if I disagree with him on most things, and my Mom told me as a young man, my Dad's political views were vastly different than they are now, and she doesn't really know when this change in his vews happened.
However, I have a theory: My Dad's family moved to Los Gatos from Boston when he was a kid, and a lot of his friends from that area (a Liberal stronghold) never joined the service and had to see the ugly side of combat and foreign cultures like my Dad did. They had the luxury of theorizing on the nature of other cultures and peoples that a Marine on the ground doesn't have the privilege to contemplate, let alone entertain. So, my Dad, like most servicemen and women, views an attack on the system of Government that we have and the President's foreign and domestic policies as a personal attack on his 20 years of service; making him feel like his time in the Corps was a waste of time. So, he rebels against that system of thought by becoming the exact opposite of his friends... a Conservative.
This makes complete sense to me, and the more I talk to my Father, the more this is reinforced as the reasoning behind he views. My Dad, much like my Mother, is a huge history buff, so they both know the history behind the same topics, but with different political vews on the historical ramifications of said events, so there's always an interesting discussion in the works when history comes up as a subject, especially since my Mom has a Master's Degree in Political Science.
When I was a teenager, my Mom sent me to live with my Dad and Step-Mom in Sturgis, South Dakota, and that was where I was first exposed to my Father's love of military history, since he made me read a rather dry novel chronicling the Confederate side of the Civil War's successes as well as their failings. Sure, I hated reading it, but I read it anyway, and I started to understand why both my parents, despite their political views, love the same subject; it's all about the people involved, what they did and their motivations were for those same actions.
Isn't it strange, that two people that once loved each other, who have grown to dislike each other have so much in common on a single subject, while completely seperate from each other?
Maybe that's what Conservatives and Liberals need to do nowadays... focus on their commonalities instead of their differences?
Or is that too damn "Liberal" of me to ask?
My Dad is a retired Marine Staff Sergeant who was a Drill Instructor when I was born. He met my Mom when he was laid up on the hospital bed next to my Grandfather, who loathed him as much as one Marine can loath another Marine. My Dad didn't really get the reasons for why my Grandpa didn't like him, and he still doesn't... hell, even I don't really know why. Maybe it's because they're so similar... that's the way it works out sometimes.
My Mom fell in love with my Dad after a time, and they eventually got married and had my sister, Jennifer in 1976 and then me in 1977.
Of course, their marriage didn't last much longer after that.
My Mom eventually got tired of my Father not paying as much attention to my Mom, Jen and I as he did his motorcycles and his cars, so she left him after five years of marriage... I was two years old at the time. My Mom told me once, "Well, I gave it five years... that seems like a long enough time to change, don't you think?"
My Mom isn't a person who actively bad-mouths others, no matter how she feels about them, and the same went for my Father, so I didn't really experience the whole tug-of-war crap that a lot of kids from divorced families get to see. But frankly, those kids got lots of cool presents, and there ain't nothing wrong with presents, in my book.
When my Mom and Bob got together, that changed. I'm not sure why, but it did change.
Keep in mind that around this time, Rush Limbaugh was just rising to prominence in the early 1990's, and there were two sides to be on: Rush's or Not Rush's.
My Dad picked Rush's side and my Mom is a Liberal Feminist, so she didn't... and this is where it gets sticky. My Mom and Bob believe that as long as what you do doesn't hurt anyone, and the Constitution protects it, feel free to live your life the way that you choose. Dad, on the other hand is a Conservative, so he thinks that any behavior believed to be aberrant is wrong, and therefore he's against it.
Here's the big difference between "Liberals" and "Conservatives": Liberals are open-minded on most things, and pay attention to scientific fact versus what others "Feel". Conservatives pay more attention to "Morals" and "Feelings" than scientific fact and reason; hence, why Liberals pay attention to global warming and trying to gently nudge this country away from it's puritanical past while Conservatives focus on the immorality of getting an abortion and always saying that there's a "Liberal War being waged on (insert random Christian holiday here)".
Now, imagine being a Liberal, with a Dad that has the complete opposite views as you... do you see why it's a pain in the ass now?
A lot of my friends are Liberal, and all their parents are still married, so they don't really get how frustrating it is to be in the position that I'm in with my parents. I realized in my early 20's that I am a lot like both my parents in many ways, despite the basic lack of regular contact with my Dad since I was a kid. In 2004, I saw my Dad for the first time face-to-face in a decade, and I'm 28 now... so about a third of my life was spent away from him. Nothing wrong with that, but it can create distance between family members... even the ones that you love the most.
My Dad is a good guy, even if I disagree with him on most things, and my Mom told me as a young man, my Dad's political views were vastly different than they are now, and she doesn't really know when this change in his vews happened.
However, I have a theory: My Dad's family moved to Los Gatos from Boston when he was a kid, and a lot of his friends from that area (a Liberal stronghold) never joined the service and had to see the ugly side of combat and foreign cultures like my Dad did. They had the luxury of theorizing on the nature of other cultures and peoples that a Marine on the ground doesn't have the privilege to contemplate, let alone entertain. So, my Dad, like most servicemen and women, views an attack on the system of Government that we have and the President's foreign and domestic policies as a personal attack on his 20 years of service; making him feel like his time in the Corps was a waste of time. So, he rebels against that system of thought by becoming the exact opposite of his friends... a Conservative.
This makes complete sense to me, and the more I talk to my Father, the more this is reinforced as the reasoning behind he views. My Dad, much like my Mother, is a huge history buff, so they both know the history behind the same topics, but with different political vews on the historical ramifications of said events, so there's always an interesting discussion in the works when history comes up as a subject, especially since my Mom has a Master's Degree in Political Science.
When I was a teenager, my Mom sent me to live with my Dad and Step-Mom in Sturgis, South Dakota, and that was where I was first exposed to my Father's love of military history, since he made me read a rather dry novel chronicling the Confederate side of the Civil War's successes as well as their failings. Sure, I hated reading it, but I read it anyway, and I started to understand why both my parents, despite their political views, love the same subject; it's all about the people involved, what they did and their motivations were for those same actions.
Isn't it strange, that two people that once loved each other, who have grown to dislike each other have so much in common on a single subject, while completely seperate from each other?
Maybe that's what Conservatives and Liberals need to do nowadays... focus on their commonalities instead of their differences?
Or is that too damn "Liberal" of me to ask?
posted by Todd Tobin at 9:31 AM
4 Comments:
"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite."
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."
"Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists."
-John Galbraith
I enjoyed these quotes...
Charles Oberg
Yeah, those are pretty good, but how about, "Life is only worth living if your job allows you to have a life..." Huh?
Good stuff, Chuck...
I'll see if I can get your e-mail from Geoff, or you can just send me an e-mail at todd.tobin.ctr@edwards.af.mil either way works for me.
I wish it were that simple too...
I really do. I would say that Conservatives and Liberals have different Agenda's... and that is the end of it... If they could work together I am sure we would have seen more of it in History.... We keep making the same mistakes though.
Good post Todd, although there is "another" way. My politics are neither liberal nor conservative. I was raised in a conservative home and growing up gay taught me how wrong many conservative beliefs are. In many ways I am as liberal or more liberal then you. I like the open mic approach. I also believe in the axiom that "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely". That axiom steers me away from big government solutions. The more power you give government to make things right, the more vested interest it has in making sure things go wrong.
I believe in people helping people. What classic liberals would place in the hands of government (laws), I place in the realm of morality and individual choice. I know that given the choice to help others or not, there are a lot of ass*#@~s who wont. I also know that there are a lot of people who will. I try every day to be one of those who help...
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