"Okay, Okay... Here!!!"
Okay, so I guess that I have to address a subject that I've talked to a couple of my regulars about that happened this last Friday...
...Kristi broke up with me.
Now, as I'm sure many of you picked up on, being my girlfriend isn't very easy... ask Chuck and Mojo, they know all about it. By the way, Chuck... I hope those Herpes outbreaks are back under control... you know what happens to Daddy when he's got a box of wine in him. For those that don't know, Chuck once described how I looked as, and I'm quoting here, "Christopher Walken on a crash diet"... so he deserves it.
...ahem...
Anyway, those of you in the know would know what last Friday was May 5th, 2006... Cinco de Mayo... or as I like to now call it, "Single de Mayo", or "Todd's Independence Day".
I know that many people (probably including Kristi) are thinking, "Hey Todd, you're making light of a difficult decision that Kristi had to make." No, I'm actually making light of how I feel about the whole situation. That's the way I roll... always have. If you think this is inappropriate, you should ask Chuck how I acted while I was on Paxil in 1998 for severe depression and seriously contemplated suicide... that was inappropriate.
Okay, okay, back to the subject...
Kristi decided that she was unhappy and decided to end it, and to be quite honest, I can't blame her. I am an opinionated prick, and I don't view religion and family as many do in this world, but I don't apologize for it... and she knows that. So, the logical choice (no matter how hard it was to make at the time) was to not be with me anymore. Sure, it hurts, but I've had worse, and I bare no malice for Kristi... which, trust me... that's a big step for me as an adult.
Again, this is all compared to my incredibly dysfunctionally-one-sided relationship with my last ex... I'm not going to say her name, but let's just say that it rhymes with "Visa"... but without the nagging collections calls. With each woman that I date, I like to think that I learn something not only new about myself, but about women in general.
For instance, did you know that Visa taught me that apparently it's okay for a woman to have you pay half her car payment less than a week before she dumps you? I don't care how much of an ass you are, if you aren't beating a woman, and her parents like you... that's cold-hearted. I learned something important about myself, though... I'm a chump. But, to be fair, Visa is still a good person, she was just going through a tough situation and I was her rebound boyfriend to help her recover from that experience... not to mention the fact that I dumped her four years earlier was a dickhead move on my part, so in a karmic sense, I probably deserved it. Also, I was an asshole; she decided to hang out with our mutual friends in the apartment complex at the time on a daily basis and despite saying that "We'd be friends..." she never stopped by my apartment (which was on the way to our friend's apartment from the parking lot) and said "Hi" which to me is like being stabbed in the heart after a break-up. But, there's a sunny side to this situation: Being a good guy and treating a woman with respect may end up with her dumping you, but at least you can sleep soundly... albeit on the occassional pillow-full of tears.
Also, I dated a girl that thought it was alright to make out with a friend of mine because I hadn't given her a ring! What the fuck?! That taught me that that my decision-making skills hadn't gotten much better with time. The odd thing? I wasn't even drunk! Thinking back on it, I probably should've been.
For most of my life, I was the quite guy that bit his lip on everything, from being made fun of for being White to listening to Hip-Hop (oddly enough, by Black kids)... but around the age of 21, I'd decided that enough was enough and I started to speak my mind on whatever I thought. Kristi got to deal with me as that person most of the time, and after a year of being with me, I can't fault her for getting tired of it. In fact, I applaud her for her strength of character for standing up and saying that she'd had enough.
Of course, my opinions weren't the only reasons that she broke up with me, but I don't feel that it's appropriate for me to talk about that in a public forum such as this. But, I will say this...
Kristi's a good woman, and I hope that she finds the happiness that she so richly deserves.
And, I don't care if anyone chooses to call me a pussy for it, either... after all, if I gave a shit, I wouldn't have this Blog, now would I?!
...Kristi broke up with me.
Now, as I'm sure many of you picked up on, being my girlfriend isn't very easy... ask Chuck and Mojo, they know all about it. By the way, Chuck... I hope those Herpes outbreaks are back under control... you know what happens to Daddy when he's got a box of wine in him. For those that don't know, Chuck once described how I looked as, and I'm quoting here, "Christopher Walken on a crash diet"... so he deserves it.
...ahem...
Anyway, those of you in the know would know what last Friday was May 5th, 2006... Cinco de Mayo... or as I like to now call it, "Single de Mayo", or "Todd's Independence Day".
I know that many people (probably including Kristi) are thinking, "Hey Todd, you're making light of a difficult decision that Kristi had to make." No, I'm actually making light of how I feel about the whole situation. That's the way I roll... always have. If you think this is inappropriate, you should ask Chuck how I acted while I was on Paxil in 1998 for severe depression and seriously contemplated suicide... that was inappropriate.
Okay, okay, back to the subject...
Kristi decided that she was unhappy and decided to end it, and to be quite honest, I can't blame her. I am an opinionated prick, and I don't view religion and family as many do in this world, but I don't apologize for it... and she knows that. So, the logical choice (no matter how hard it was to make at the time) was to not be with me anymore. Sure, it hurts, but I've had worse, and I bare no malice for Kristi... which, trust me... that's a big step for me as an adult.
Again, this is all compared to my incredibly dysfunctionally-one-sided relationship with my last ex... I'm not going to say her name, but let's just say that it rhymes with "Visa"... but without the nagging collections calls. With each woman that I date, I like to think that I learn something not only new about myself, but about women in general.
For instance, did you know that Visa taught me that apparently it's okay for a woman to have you pay half her car payment less than a week before she dumps you? I don't care how much of an ass you are, if you aren't beating a woman, and her parents like you... that's cold-hearted. I learned something important about myself, though... I'm a chump. But, to be fair, Visa is still a good person, she was just going through a tough situation and I was her rebound boyfriend to help her recover from that experience... not to mention the fact that I dumped her four years earlier was a dickhead move on my part, so in a karmic sense, I probably deserved it. Also, I was an asshole; she decided to hang out with our mutual friends in the apartment complex at the time on a daily basis and despite saying that "We'd be friends..." she never stopped by my apartment (which was on the way to our friend's apartment from the parking lot) and said "Hi" which to me is like being stabbed in the heart after a break-up. But, there's a sunny side to this situation: Being a good guy and treating a woman with respect may end up with her dumping you, but at least you can sleep soundly... albeit on the occassional pillow-full of tears.
Also, I dated a girl that thought it was alright to make out with a friend of mine because I hadn't given her a ring! What the fuck?! That taught me that that my decision-making skills hadn't gotten much better with time. The odd thing? I wasn't even drunk! Thinking back on it, I probably should've been.
For most of my life, I was the quite guy that bit his lip on everything, from being made fun of for being White to listening to Hip-Hop (oddly enough, by Black kids)... but around the age of 21, I'd decided that enough was enough and I started to speak my mind on whatever I thought. Kristi got to deal with me as that person most of the time, and after a year of being with me, I can't fault her for getting tired of it. In fact, I applaud her for her strength of character for standing up and saying that she'd had enough.
Of course, my opinions weren't the only reasons that she broke up with me, but I don't feel that it's appropriate for me to talk about that in a public forum such as this. But, I will say this...
Kristi's a good woman, and I hope that she finds the happiness that she so richly deserves.
And, I don't care if anyone chooses to call me a pussy for it, either... after all, if I gave a shit, I wouldn't have this Blog, now would I?!
posted by Todd Tobin at 9:22 PM
5 Comments:
Strange... May 5th is my anniversary. My partner and I have been together 7 years.
This post makes me sad... probably because you didn't give all the information....
I am struggling right now with an opininated boyfriend to that seems to understand what I need because I tell him but just doesn't care enough to try and change. We have 2 children.... I don't know how much more of it I can take either. We have been together for the last 3 years....
Indifference sometimes hurts too... I know it is better than being an ass to her but there is always other options too...
Oh well I really hope that you both find happiness... let me know how it is when you do... :)
well, todd...that sucks. But you seem okay...which is good. And you're young. You'll find someone that will love your opinionated ass just the way it is. I did. My hubby and I just celebrated 12 years this past Sunday...I still can't believe we haven't divorced. That's the key--start out with low hopes and then you don't have to worry about letting yourself down.
Just enjoy. Life's TOO DAMN SHORT to be in an unhappy relationship...that's for sure. Take care of you!
:-) t
So far I think the most helpful insight for you, Todd is to take the advice Mr.jxh8h68ltw in the second post made!
Anyways, Instead of emailing me, call me on my cell. Get my number from Geoffy-poo.
Ever had those days when all you wanted to do was sit and watch "Planet of the Apes" for hours on end? You know, you just cannot get your fill of Charleton Heston?
"I need more gravy, cupcake." -Ron
Big C
GW - Our anniversary was actually in mid-April, but close enough.
Shmamber - I'm opinionated, but I don't really think that I'm a prick (I was being self-deprecating). Indifference is my bread and butter, sweetheart... when I'm not sobbing like a woman in the corner, that is.
I would humor "Dick-head the Magnificent", but I'm not gonna waste my time... in other words, go jump in a wood-chipper, you lonely little dumb-ass... at least get out of your parents basement for a couple hours! Who knows, you may just meet a woman!
Tammy - Thanks for the advice... I always knew having low hopes was the way to go!
Charles - I don't know what's more Gay... your advice, or your creepy man-crush on Charleton Heston... but to be honest, when you put that quote from Ron, I almost crapped my pants. You forgot to mention the whole "Pinky-Up" thing he did all the time, too. That guy kills me, man.
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