"I'm sorry, we don't talk about stuff that..."

How many times have you heard that phrase? Once? Twice? Three times a Lady? I hear that phrase all the time, and I think that I finally know the reason why.

The two main topics that inspire that response from someone are Religion and Politics, and many people get very uncomfortable when those subjects are brought up. The reason for that is, in my mind at least, pretty simple. The people who say it are either embarrassed by their own views, or they're afraid to admit to others what those views are. In other words... they're cowards.

I wasn't really all that interested in Politics until I reached my 20's, but I never shied away from any conversation that contained them, and wasn't shy about expressing my point of view to a complete stranger. The only time Religion made me uncomfortable as a topic of discussion was when a complete stranger wanted to know why I haven't accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior... and that's just because the people that talk to you about that are typically part of some Non-Denominational Jesus Cult. If you have a life, I'm sure you can identify with why that shit creeps me out.

Politics, on the other hand, is, or can be, an interesting area of discussion... that people largely avoid talking about like the plague. I personally just ask people what they think about specific topics to see where they're coming from in general. The topics?

1.) The President, and how well they think that he's doing so far.

2.) The War in Iraq, and what they think should be done.

3.) Whether they watch Fox News or not.

Those are the only really big topics that are worth discussing in the arena of politics, and I know a couple of you out there are asking, "Hey, what about Abortion, Gay Marriage and all of that?" The answer to that is simple: Those are Religious questions, Dummy! Wait your turn!

In my mind, nothing opens up people to talk about these like a few good-natured jokes. For instance:


"What's the difference between a Special Ed student and the President?"

"I don't know... what?"

"The President doesn't have to wear the helmet anymore."


Now, did you laugh at that or get mad? Fairly simple, huh? Now let's try another one!


"What's the main difference between The Iraq War and Vietnam?"

"I don't know... what?"

"Nothing... just this time we have a dumber President!"


Alright... one more:


"What do Lindsay Lohan and Bill O'Reilly have in common?"

"I don't know... what?"

"Shit-loads of make-up covering those hideous freckles!"


You see, how you respond to things like that determine whether you can take a joke about something that is, in essence... not all that big of a deal. Political and Religious points of view are, in essence, based on opinion. And, from time to time, someone may prove that your opinion on a subject is wrong.

For instance, let's just say that you're anti-abortion and as racist as they come. Your beautiful, Blonde-haired, Blue-Eyed daughter comes home from College for the Winter Break and tells you over Dinner that she's pregnant... with a Black Baby. Now what do you do, Mister High-And-Mighty? I'd bet that you'd recommend an abortion faster than you can say "Praise Jesus!" at your local Klan rally, Jeb. Time to learn to take it on the chin, champ. You can't be right about everything, now can you?

I'll write another one on Religion, if any of you are interested... drop me a line.