"Non-Comment 'Comments'"

Okay, this goes out to all of you people that feel the primal urge to self-promote on a personal Blog like mine that is dedicated to comic observations and poking fun at popular culture: Cut it the fuck out! What the hell are you people thinking?! Do you walk up to people that you don't know on the street and say, "Hi, do you have trouble keeping your erections as hard as a Physics Test? I have here in my hot little hands the cure to all that ails you! Click here to get a free test packet of five!" And then point at the top of your pointed heads? I didn't think so... so stop it.

This is meant to be an entertainment-oriented blog, and so far as I can tell, I have succeeded in doing what I aimed to do: Make at least one or two people laugh about the things that bother all of us, and this kind of shit is exactly the stuff that I write about in my regular blog postings... so don't give me any more ammo to go after you. You really don't want me naming websites on this blog... that is, if you've ever actually read any of my stuff, which I doubt you have.

Seriously, this is the kind of thing that is simultaneously funny and frustrating. To a lesser extent, it's like writing in your diary and going to sleep, and then waking up to find that someone slapped a fucking Halvoline Motor Oil bumper sticker on the cover and put it back. So please, if you have a comment, leave one... I look forward to them. And, if you do want to put a little advertisement of whatever it is that you do on your time off, at least leave a comment afterwards. That kind of stuff doesn't bother me.

Because when it comes right down to it, it's called "Comments", not "Ads-For-Jag-Offs-That-Live-In-Their-Grandparents-Basements-Posting-Area". To all of you out there that read my Blog, thank you for reading my crap... really, sincerely, Thank You. But for the rest of you Ad-Monkeys? Go jump in wood chipper. We already see ads everywhere we go on this planet, and the last thing we want to see when we're laughing is some guy in a lab coat popping up and saying, "Brought to you by the good people at Dow Chemicals, purveyors of the world's finest contributors to your child's birth defects since 1897."

Hopefully, this kind of stuff will stop now, but if it doesn't... I can make it funnier by talking about their sites in a way that is less than positive. So, if you feel the urge to do that stuff on this site, I will look at your site, and then basically give your site the equivalent of a Friar's Roast... but without the good-natured insults.

And that's all I really have to complain about for now, folks... remember to tip your waitresses.