"Well, that makes sense..."

Before I get into this little segment, I would first like to explain what "The Talk" means. "The Talk" is when you and your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse discuss the direction of your relationship. It sometimes happens in the early stages of the relationship, but more often than not it happens later on... in the final stages of your relationship, right before divorce is brought into the equation.

For this "Talk", Kristi was concerned with our compatability, our possible future together and some of the less-than-perfect parts of who I am. All of these things are, in my mind, good things to talk about, and when it comes to my flaws (which are numerous) that is often my favorite part of any discussion (and no, I'm not being sarcastic). Kristi is a positive, kind-hearted, caring and sensitive person, and she isn't vindictive at all... in any way. So, with all that out of the way, on to the segment!

Kristi and I had "The Talk" yesterday, and amongst the various topics on her mind, she told me that I'm an opinionated person... so much so that I sometimes make others (especially her family and friends) uncomfortable from time to time. I wasn't aware of this, and I instantly felt bad about it. Her whole family and all her friends are some of the coolest people that I've ever met, and finding out that I may be making them feel ill-at-ease because of what I say is not cool at all. If this applies to you, and I wasn't aware of it at the time... I apologize.

But, I don't apologize for being opinionated... it's not in my nature to apologize for something that I am. If people think that I'm critical of others, they'd probably be interested in my views of myself... which, believe me, they aren't all that great most of the time. I'm always been more critical of myself than I've ever been of others, and over time I hope that part of me will start to get tired of making little snide comments and take a dirt nap. Believe it or not, my criticisms are largely topic-based (much like this Blog is topic-based, and helps me vent), and they don't apply to everything in my life.

When I was a kid, I was quite, hiding from negative responses or aggressive posturing due to how small I was. Most people may not know this, but I was 5 foot 3 until I was 16... I was the short, doughy kid who always had to stand in the front of the school photos because I was so short. But that attitude changed when I went in the Navy, where being confrontational and direct with people is the only real way to get stuff done. I sometimes have trouble turning that part of my mind off for some reason.

Since I got out of the service, I've discovered that I don't like having to argue with people for one simple reason: They may tell you what they really think of you. And more often than not, what your friends, family and co-workers keep inside of themselves could cripple your self-esteem for a long, long time... trust me, I know first-hand what that's like, and I don't like telling people things that are pointlessly negative. Pointlessly negative is when you say something just to hurt someone else, and not to help them. There are times that in order to get past something, you have to be told the truth, and sometimes the truths stings.

My Mom used to always tell me as a kid that I'm "Too critical of others", and I guess that I never really took the time out to think about what that means. At times I'm critical, harsh, opinionated, yes, but I expect people to be the same way with me... but I guess that is something that other people may at times feel too intimidated to say, due to the kind of forceful personality that I have.

Kristi is the first person aside from my Mom, Bob and Geoff that ever talked to me about me. It was refreshing to hear someone else's opinions on what I do, how I act, what I say, and how those things affect others. Even if it isn't always positive... it's still true. We all have friends, but how many of us have friends that will tell us the truth about us? Believe it or not, that's more rare than getting something that is literally for free.

I've been spending too much time in my own head lately... I think that it's about that time that I stop doing that so much. If you guys think that I'm too wordy in my observations, you would hate to be stuck in my head for just one day... I often find myself too long in the tooth for my own tastes on a daily basis. Also, when the topics of opinion and criticism come up, I'm not one-sided in my views... I welcome the chance that someone else can prove me wrong. I've been wrong on a lot of things in the past and it's only logical that it'll happen in the future, I can take being proved wrong, since I like debates and discussions.

As for our relationship, I think (again, my opinion) that Kristi and I are doing alright so far, we just need to spend more time together. Kristi wants to go do stuff that see places in a more spontaneous way than we've been doing, so I'm guessing that would be a good place to start. Kristi said that these things that she brought up were just little things, but to me, the little things are some of the most important parts of any relationship. And being open to talk about anything is even moreso important, because if you don't talk, nothing can be fixed. And if nothing gets fixed, it breaks... and I don't want this to break, so I'll do all that I can to keep it working.