"Celebrities That Should Ride the Little Bus"
I'm going to start this off by saying that I just like to bring other people's attention to what I see, and how much I don't like what I see on TV. So with that in mind, Enjoy!
I saw the New Edition "Behind the Music" episode on VH1 a couple of months ago, and I thought that Bobby Brown was high. After having seen parts of an episode of his new reality show, I am convinced that he should be riding the short bus. For crying out loud, the guy stammers and looks like he's about to crap his pants and lick the windows! Watching that show is the intellectual equivalent of a frickin' lobotomy, with a side of electro-shock. I was a fan of Bobby in 1989, but that was the last time that he could even pronounce multi-syllabic words.
I hate to see people with such promise at an early point in their careers take a nose-dive into the bottle and nose-candy, since it makes for lame reunion tours. And Bobby, as well as Ozzy Osbourne are perfect examples of this type of crap. If you can sing a song without sounding like you should be wearing an adult diaper, why can't you talk? Or, if you have all that energy to make an ass out of yourself, why can't you just turn that energy inward and at least act sane?! I think that we as a society encourage these morons (not Ozzy, he's actually quite smart... when he's sober) to think that it's okay to do stupid shit in the eyes of the public because they're rich! I know that most rich people are no more intelligent than the slow kid on the Fry-O-Later at Jack-In-The-Box, but should they be allowed to live life so sequestered from the rest of us?
If the Hilton brood are any example, most rich kids are only made aware of style and how to keep their money, and haven't learned such things as tact and common sense. You see, most people that record themselves having sex either do it without their partner knowing it, or erase the copy as soon as they've watched it once or twice. Not so with Paris, who not only knew that the camera was there, but apparently enjoyed it's presence. Well, maybe we shouldn't be so surprised that she's narcissistic... we should just be surprised that a woman with all the curves of a ten-year-old male prostitute in Thailand shows off her flat ass and chest at every chance she gets.
Also, in general, most people that are famous aren't any better-looking than the average person; they just have a make-up lady with a lot of time and patience. As most of us learn in elementary school, the prettiest people are amongst the most shallow and stupid in your classes. Sure, they are often treated better at a younger age, but that can only carry you so far in life. Take any of the middle-aged actors and actresses that are still visible in Hollywood and you will see the cost of such popularity. Look at Burt Reynolds, for instance; the skin on his face looks like it's doing Indian Sprints to get to the back of his skull!
Let me just say one thing to all of the white celebrities out there: Stop Tanning Your Skin! You make Yoda look like Marcus Schenkenberg, for God's sake! Here's something that will astound you, however: Look at your arm... do you have any freckles? That's your tan! We as white people need to realize that we don't tan, we just burn! And please don't go the way of George Hamilton and put that tanning cream goop on your skin... it just turns your skin orange!
I am not a person that believes that you shouldn't try to alter your appearance, but if you do something to change your appearance, at least try to do it with a little common sense. If you're a stripper, and you're 5 feet tall, don't go for the size double F implants. If you think that your nose is too big, just get it shaved down a little bit... since at one point, when your kid is 13, he or she will ask you why their noses are so large, and yours is so small. And finally, let me just say that becoming really wealthy can be great, but always remember that there will always be people like me that see you making a fool of yourself... and making a joke out of it. So be responsible, it may save you the hassle of explaining yourself to the press.
I saw the New Edition "Behind the Music" episode on VH1 a couple of months ago, and I thought that Bobby Brown was high. After having seen parts of an episode of his new reality show, I am convinced that he should be riding the short bus. For crying out loud, the guy stammers and looks like he's about to crap his pants and lick the windows! Watching that show is the intellectual equivalent of a frickin' lobotomy, with a side of electro-shock. I was a fan of Bobby in 1989, but that was the last time that he could even pronounce multi-syllabic words.
I hate to see people with such promise at an early point in their careers take a nose-dive into the bottle and nose-candy, since it makes for lame reunion tours. And Bobby, as well as Ozzy Osbourne are perfect examples of this type of crap. If you can sing a song without sounding like you should be wearing an adult diaper, why can't you talk? Or, if you have all that energy to make an ass out of yourself, why can't you just turn that energy inward and at least act sane?! I think that we as a society encourage these morons (not Ozzy, he's actually quite smart... when he's sober) to think that it's okay to do stupid shit in the eyes of the public because they're rich! I know that most rich people are no more intelligent than the slow kid on the Fry-O-Later at Jack-In-The-Box, but should they be allowed to live life so sequestered from the rest of us?
If the Hilton brood are any example, most rich kids are only made aware of style and how to keep their money, and haven't learned such things as tact and common sense. You see, most people that record themselves having sex either do it without their partner knowing it, or erase the copy as soon as they've watched it once or twice. Not so with Paris, who not only knew that the camera was there, but apparently enjoyed it's presence. Well, maybe we shouldn't be so surprised that she's narcissistic... we should just be surprised that a woman with all the curves of a ten-year-old male prostitute in Thailand shows off her flat ass and chest at every chance she gets.
Also, in general, most people that are famous aren't any better-looking than the average person; they just have a make-up lady with a lot of time and patience. As most of us learn in elementary school, the prettiest people are amongst the most shallow and stupid in your classes. Sure, they are often treated better at a younger age, but that can only carry you so far in life. Take any of the middle-aged actors and actresses that are still visible in Hollywood and you will see the cost of such popularity. Look at Burt Reynolds, for instance; the skin on his face looks like it's doing Indian Sprints to get to the back of his skull!
Let me just say one thing to all of the white celebrities out there: Stop Tanning Your Skin! You make Yoda look like Marcus Schenkenberg, for God's sake! Here's something that will astound you, however: Look at your arm... do you have any freckles? That's your tan! We as white people need to realize that we don't tan, we just burn! And please don't go the way of George Hamilton and put that tanning cream goop on your skin... it just turns your skin orange!
I am not a person that believes that you shouldn't try to alter your appearance, but if you do something to change your appearance, at least try to do it with a little common sense. If you're a stripper, and you're 5 feet tall, don't go for the size double F implants. If you think that your nose is too big, just get it shaved down a little bit... since at one point, when your kid is 13, he or she will ask you why their noses are so large, and yours is so small. And finally, let me just say that becoming really wealthy can be great, but always remember that there will always be people like me that see you making a fool of yourself... and making a joke out of it. So be responsible, it may save you the hassle of explaining yourself to the press.
posted by Todd Tobin at 2:29 PM
4 Comments:
Hey. I just stumbled onto your blog and happy I did cuz it's really fun. I especially love 21 questions minus 18. I especially love when the hairstylist asks "So you need a haircut?" Nope, breast implants. HERE'S YOUR SIGN! :)
Thanks for the positive feedback, Veeba. Feel free to e-mail me requests of what you'd like to see me write about.
Dude, It's George Hamilton the actor with the bad tan, not George Harrison the dead Beatle.
Damn you and your astute mind! Finally someone noticed! I guess that I'll have to fix it before others question my genius! Thanks for the post, Andy...
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